versus Poll #3: Friendliness

Friendliness.  What is that?  Is it your propensity to give up your seat to an elderly person on the bus?  Perhaps it's giving your coworker a compliment on their new haircut even though they look like a blind octopus went to town on their skull with a weed-wacker, a blow torch and a potato peeler.  Maybe, its giving your loved one a smile and a thank you for cooking dinner despite the distinct hydrochloric sharpness to the food.  One definition of the word is as simple as "not hostile," according to dictionary.com.  Seems straightforward enough, so I guess the question becomes "Why would you want to rate yourself on this aspect?"  The answer to this is also simple:

Because I want to know if I'm a better person than you - at least on a superficial level - just as you want to find out if you are better than me!  What could be more efficient, extensive, or honest than a poll posted on a barely visible blog? Nothing, I tell you, nothing!  Now, on to the results!

To recap: On a scale of one to ten how friendly would you rate yourself? A) All of the above; B) You don't know because you stopped reading after the word "scale;" C) One, because you hate people in general but never had a chance to say just how much; D) Net, because you are super super nice but serup serup lysdexic; E) You couldn't really put a number to it but everyone says they just want to be "friends."

We'll, according to this highly scientific and objective survery we've actually found a 23% portion of this blog-reading populace to be honest - they admitted to not reading the question.  Another 23% fought through their diabolically debilitating dyslexic disorder to vote, even though those who cast their ballot as such probably can't understand this sentence.  12% of you had the balls to admit they hate people so very much which had the effect of making me feel 12% better than I did about myself a few minutes ago, so that's a good thing!  There was a tie for the smallest piece o' pie - again, 12% - for those of you stuck in the friend-zone in perpetuity and thus had a difficult time trying to pin down a number for us.  The majority of the votes - a whopping 33%!!! - were from people who voted A) All of the above.  Since that was the first option and there was nothing "above" it I am taking it to mean that you consider yourself about 5 on the "Friendly" scale, meaning, while you are the kind of person that, should the mood strike, you would set me on fire, you are also the type who would put out the flames once they, "gave me a good scare."

Thanks for voting, readers!  You are doing your part to keep this Democracy of the Absurd floating like the blimp that it is!  Balloon-boy would be proud of you if, you know, he had actually been in that stupid thing in the first place.  As it is, he's fairly indifferent to you.  Have fun with the next poll!!!