versus Poll #4: Dream Vacations

Vacation.  No, wait, Dream vacation.

This is something that we all want, right? Something that we all hold up as a goal for our fantasies. That we all spend inordinate amounts of time imagining every conceivable detail from the plush softness of the complimentary bathrobes to the precise angle of the sunlight that warms and bronzes your skin right down to the types of earrings your personal hostess will wear as she brings you and your significant other tall frosty glasses of the most exquisite (insert favorite beverage here) ever created.

Unfortunately, that's not really what this weeks poll was about.  It was pretty much me staring out the window while at work, seeing a squirrel scurry across the grass, tiny paws flashing throught the frosty lawn as it scampered toward an ancient and gnarled oak tree, bent by the wind and time, where the squirrel undoubtably made its home and I thought to myself, "I wish I were a giant."  Which led to thoughts of Godzilla, then Godzilla vs. Mothra, followed by an odd thought of what would happen if Godzilla and Mothra were somehow combined into one super-freak ultra-monster called "Neil," then back over to me thinking about being a giant that was BIGGER than Godzilla, which, naturally, led my mind to Ted Danson's forehead and finally to Gulliver's Travels and Lilliput. 

So, that's when it occured to me that it would be kind of neat to go on vacation there!  What other weird places would I have fun visiting?  "No," said my brain like an excited 1st-grader trying to get the teacher's attention by making a complete nuisance of himself, "we should figure out weird places for other people to visit and then laugh at them!"  I thought this was such a great idea that I tried to high-five my brain and wound up smacking myself in the forehead in front of my co-workers.  Anyway, here's the list of the possible venues I want to subject you to with a complete breakdown of pros and cons for each (provided that 'complete breakdown' really means 3)

The Island of Misfit Toys (as seen in Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer, starring clay)
Pros:  You have an entire island to travel across and explore, virtually all by yourself!
  The locals are very friendly and helpful, even if they are a bit sad sometimes.
  Jolly ol' Saint Nick does live in the area!
Cons:  Unfortunately, it is a frozen wasteland without any apparent shelter.
  The locals, while very friendly and helpful, are a tad creepy
  If you are on the Island of Misfit Toys, it probably means you've been discovered as being malformed in some way.  Sorry.

Zombieland (as seen in the movie, Zombieland, starring Woodie Harelson)
Pros:  Money is virtually obsolete and totally unnecessary; if you can get your hands on it, its yours!
  You can live (squat) in anyone's house, such as Bill Murray's as shown in the film.
  The ever popular "Zombie Kill of the Week Award" is a real and highly prestigious thing; go out and win yourself one!!!
Cons: Food, feul and ammuntion could run out at some point, leaving you fairly defenseless.
  High likelihood of never seeing a living soul again; aka, loneliness.
  Someone might eat your brains.

The Emrarld City of Oz (as seen in the movie, The Wizard of Oz, starring Judy Garland)
Pros: It is a rich and beautiful and splendid city filled with joyous little people known as Munchkins
  The inhabitants, the aforementioned Munchkins, love doting on their guests.
  They have awesome facial hair!
Cons: You must pay homage to a giant, petulant, floating head
  The Munchkins insist on singing wherever you go, even if you tell them to shut it!
  Flying monkeys have been known to attack.  Not the cute 'fun' flying monkeys of your dreams; these areugly vicious flying monkeys!!

Lillput (as seen in the movie, Gulliver's Travels starring Ted Danson's forehead)
Pros:  Beautiful pastoral countryside, ripe for nice long walks
  You can hob-knob with royalty and go to balls and galas
  You can be a giant that is proportionally BIGGER than Godzilla
Cons:  You could accidentally squish 1/3 of the entire Lillipution population should you trip and fall.
  Getting full in 1 meal is rather difficult.
  Souvenirs are too small to be enjoyed by anyone unless you abscond with their palace.

Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory (as seen in the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder)
Pros: Candy, candy, candy,candy, candy, candy, candy!
  Fantastical psychedelic inventions and contraption you can play with!
  Oompa Loompas
Cons: An alarming number of "accidents" occur on the premises.
  The threat of everything you do being turned into some kind of test of moral fiber.
  Oompa Loompas

And so, looking at the results of the poll I found that there was a tie for this weeks winner: Zombieland and Willy Wonka's.  Good choices people!  Although, of the five choices, those are the two with the highest probability of you getting seriously injured and/or killed.  Good choices indeed!!  Have fun with this week's poll!